Thrift Store Art Installations

It’s too bad the coolest things in thrift stores these days are never for sale. You’ll go in and see tons of flannel you don’t want, ironic jump suits, Bill Cosby sweaters and some cool Garbage Pail Kids t-shirt. You go for Adam Bomb thinking it’s a lucky find, but it painfully turns out to be a reprint. Not to mention it’s also size XXXL.

Everything’s a reprint. All the real vintage treasures have long been picked over. That’s ok, there’s always eBay to help find that perfect 80’s thrash metal t-shirt from one of the Big Four. You’ll just have to pay something totally ridiculous and lie to everyone about how much you really paid for it.

Every once in a while though, you’ll see a particularly radical Slayer shirt on the wall behind the register that says Reign In Blood – Tour ’86-87 on it. It looks totally authentic, seems to be just your size, and you ask how much it is.

“Not for sale. Owner’s private collection…”

AHHHH!

Even if you know the going rate on eBay and are ready to barter, chances are you’re not gonna get it. The owner’s not there. The clerk is only half there. Best to go back and check out the stiff reprints and try on some stupid sunglasses to make yourself feel better.

Or leave the comfort of the trendy mall and go to a real thrift store. Go to the Salvation Army. Go to Goodwill. You’ll have lots of dirty digging to do, but you might actually find something that’s 50/50 in your size. However, it probably won’t be anything close to what you originally wanted. Instead it’ll be some blue sports camp shirt you settle with just because it’s super soft.

Frustrating as this may be to us dumpster divers, I too would be holding the Slayer shirt in a steel vault. It’s a precious work of art in the spirit of Andy Warhol pop and Jeff Koons ready-mades. We culturally recycle every so many generations, and for those of us who have preserved our Sony Walkman artifacts from yesteryear, there’s something that feels totally right about it right now.

Check out this spotting at Ragstock in the Woodfield Shopping Center. This stuff is all private collection, but look how awesome these art installations are put together and how they’re divided into boys and girls. Located right above the reprints. Great work!

BOY SIDE:


Transformers, Goosebumps, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Pee-Wee Herman, Micky Mouse, David Lee Roth, Valterra Skateboard, Slyder Skimboard, etc.


Back To The Future II, MTV Remote Control, Sega Genesis, Michael Jordan Wheaties, Masters of the Universe Lunchbox, Trans Am, Gremlins 2, Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots, etc.

GIRL SIDE:


Whitesnake, New Kids on the Block, Minnie Mouse, Strawberry Shortcake Telephone, etc.


Barbie Dream House, Prince, Cabbage Patch Kids, Alpha Critters, etc.

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